If you’re not familiar with a “tanning suit”, it’s an article of clothing that is meant solely for tanning. If you wear it in the water, chances are your lady bits will be on display for all mankind. I love to slip on a good tanning suit in the summer, lay on the lake and soak up the sun. I love my tanning suit. I was quite disappointed last summer when my family pointed out that my beloved suit must’ve shrunk while packed away . Happens to the best of us.
Tonight I ran to Target to grab some toothpaste, so of course I ended up in the swimsuit section. I figured now was as good as any other night to face the dreaded “dressing room mirror” and find myself some new swimwear. I grabbed a few swimsuits and made a beeline for the changing room. I was on a mission and wouldn’t be detoured to the purses and scarf section, not today!
Six suits in and I wasn’t happy with any of them. Oh what I’d give for a swimsuit that was custom fit to my body. In the bikini section here is rack after rack of bright, bold colors. There’s fun patterns and cute designs. Between the tops and the bottoms there’s got to be thousand of variations to mix and match in every size! That’s the beauty of a bikini. If you’ve got a DD bust but a itty bitty booty, you can grab and XL TOP and an XS BOTTOM and be on your way. In the one piece world, you aren’t given options. You have to have a body that’s textbook standards. Meaning if that same person wanted a one piece they’d either be spilling over or sagging. Not cute.
It pretty sad, after you pass the inviting and fun bikinis that make you totally forget you are shopping for toothpaste, you are slapped in the face with less than exciting “swimsuits”. Every shade of gray, navy blue and taupe with the boldest pattern being a wild stripe. I know, living on the edge. There’s nothing more flattering than the swim dress either, which happens to be a popular one piece in the adult section. If you really want to let them have it, wear a tankini! I’m bringing sexy back now!
The bottom line is, unless you’re shopping online (which is difficult enough to do) the selections are just boring.
The purSUIT of finding the perfect suit continues. Stay tuned! If not, I’m packing my trusty tanning suit and calling it a day!