In am in a lottery pool at work, you know what they say, A Dollar And A Dream!
Each time the prize gets really big, I start to wonder, what would I do with all that money. Let’s set aside the charitable and generous philanthropy that will probably turn me into a household name because of the Documentary they do on TRU TV about me.
You see, the reality of ME is, I know I can only occupy a maximum of 15 Sq Ft of any space at ANY given time. When I started on my quest to finding my version of enlightenment, I was so amazed by what I thought brought people happiness. I totally bought into the work hard, dream big, buy things and you will be happy. Then I saw the reality, once you had the things you thought brought you happiness, you began to work harder and work more, to dream of bigger and better, so you could spend more and get even happier. Then, yes, once you had that… The cycle started all over again. Was this my purpose on this Earth? I can’t imagine.
I know, sounds pretty ironic coming from me. I wake up in my comfy and warm house on my tempurpedic mattress, smack in the middle of suburbia, take a long hot shower, play with my “designer” dog, then hop in my Mercedes and drive my well dressed teenager across town, where I pay sky high taxes so she can go to Public School and be taught how SHE TOO can have the “AMERICAN DREAM” through Common Core testing, being politically and socially correct at all times. She will spend her day reading from textbooks that skip over some of the really good stuff, just to make sure they cover whatever will be on the standardized tests that year. I have an “executive” position at a company I’ve worked at for well over a decade. After I put in my 8 or so hours, I am out the door, in my car, grabbing groceries on the way home and who knows… I might even make a stop somewhere along the way to buy something like, say, another flat iron, because the four I currently have are, well… Just not the NEWEST and LATEST and GREATEST! Oh the irony is not lost on me.
Today I came across a post on World Travelers Association’s FB Page, “Jobs fill your pocket, Adventures fill your soul.” and it resonated with me. Not because I am an adventure seeking, cliff diving, world traveling gypsy! Not at all. It is simply because I am starting to see changes in my personal everyday life that make me WANT less “stuff” and crave MORE experiences. I understand that to maintain my life, I need to work. I get that my child enjoys going out with her friends to eat and shop, spending summers in Canada and all of that costs money. I love to make my bracelets and when I started beading, that was a big expense. But, it is most obvious when you come to my house that not conforming to the GROWN UP RULES OF LIFE didn’t start yesterday or even last year… This has been years in the making. I stop before I shop. I think of my “bucket” of loose change and dollar bills and remember that I do not work as hard as I do, as long as I do for a flat iron that I already have three times over. I crave more! That $40 goes right into the EXPERIENCE fund!
People who come to my house wonder how long I’ve been living there because I don’t have rooms full of furniture, coffee tables, TV’s, vases, shelves, pictures on the walls, heck – I don’t even have a dining room set anymore! I got rid of it all when it was time and never replaced it. I could count the number of times I sat at our dining room table on ONE hand and finally gave it away! I am still paying for that thing and don’t even own it! I don’t have dressers to fill with clothes, I have a closet and at this point, it is only 1/4 full. Now, don’t get me wrong. I live in a world of contrasts. A husband whose wardrobe is 50 times the size of mine, much higher end than my Target and American Eagle labels would have it NO other way. He is the YIN to my YANG. He likes the so called “finer” things in life. I prefer the simple things. It’s a balancing act. He has lived a colorful life and without getting into his business too much, this is what makes us a great COUPLE. We are perfect opposites, literally.
What do I love? I love that I have chaise lounges on the grass in summer, a patio set, a trampoline, a huge Rubbermaid bin of bats, balls, boxing gloves, swords, jump-ropes, sidewalk chalk, pompoms, batons, etc… Why? Because these are the things I crave now. I crave my nieces laughter coming from my backyard. My daughter laying on a blanket reading a magazine while we sip seltzer water with lemon. I yearn for the seasons to change so I can meditate on the cool sand, shaded by the big tree, with a fountain trickling to my right and Uncle Jim’s cement Buddha statue to my left. I crave a good book on the hammock, a chilly fall night with my husband by the fire-pit, Princeton on my lap and 80’s music on Pandora. THIS is what makes my heart swell up.
To each their own. Right?
I guess what I am trying to say is, I am happy with my simple life and every time it gets a little bit “simpler” I find myself a little bit HAPPIER! I want to travel alone. I want to travel as a family. I want to continue my yearly Mother/Daughter trips. I want to go on romantic getaways. That’s what I see myself doing. Does every experience need to be a BALI experience across the globe? Absolutely not! There are places in my own town I have yet to explore! But, that is what fills me up, experiences.
So, I apologize in advance to the visitors who have to eat on a little TV Tray, or even worse – eat on their laps! I just don’t want to buy a dining room set to collect dust and take up space, because it’s the GROWN UP thing to do. I can’t do it anymore, I am who I am. I am grateful for the ones who never question it, like my 86 year old grandfather who just smiles when I pull up his tray with a warm meal or my Scarlett Mae who will sprawl out on the floor for the night without a single complaint. That’s my HOME.
Will it always be this way? I don’t know. I am human and I am evolving everyday… But I am pretty damn happy today.